It’s Been a Minute

It’s never fun to step away from what you love. After I wrote the first Passion of the Alphas, it was my full plan to jump right into part 2. Vaughn’s story was clawing at the edges of my mind, ready to be told. It was so ready to tell it.

And then I got a job.

I wouldn’t have had to get one if my first two novels had received the attention I dreamed they would. But they haven’t gotten any attention. Like at all. In over a year they’ve earned me enough money to get my nails done for a month. And that’s about it. Isn’t it every writer’s dream to have their first novel skyrocket them into fame? I’ll admit I fell into that. I also fell into the hole of having a full time job. Of giving myself so completely that I haven’t had any time to create at all. In fact, in all this time I’ve written less than a page. Spare time? I don’t know her.

It’s been so much. Too much. Every iota of time I have is dedicated to the job. It’s like I don’t exist anymore. Days, nights, weekends… what’s life outside of work? Who even am I when I’m not working anymore? My job has become my identity. It feels fraudulent to say I’m an author or a performer. I haven’t been either one of those things for a long time. It’s been work, work, work. It could be worse. I’ve enjoyed the job. I met good people, and I’ve had a good time. Until recently, anyway.

I’ve neglected my dreams for too long. There’s been a hole in the center of my soul. Ignoring it has only made it worse. Reclaiming myself won’t be easy. Time hasn’t magically appeared for me. If anything, I have even less of it now as my job has become even more demanding. Something’s got to give. Who needs sleep anyway?