Imposter Syndrome Says:

There’s something about watching your life crumble around you that invigorates the entrepreneurial spirit. Or, maybe that’s just me?

For the last two years I worked. Pouring my life and soul into someone else’s dream. There was no free time to indulge in my own. And, to my detriment, I was happy to do it. In hindsight, it was dumb of me. But at the time, I was completely content. To be honest, it wasn’t one person’s dream. It was many dreams. Many callings that I dedicated myself to. Their hopes became mine, and all I wanted was to be even the smallest part of propelling them towards their goals.

I was lost in this process. Everything I wanted took several back seats. To be honest, I didn’t matter. And I didn’t care. I was having a good time, surrounded by creativity and adoring people. Until I wasn’t.

When things started going south, I threw myself in even further. Falling down into what would soon feel like an unescapable abyss. But as long as everyone else could keep dreaming, I felt it was worth it. A few others and myself were trudging through the trenches, all to protect someone else’s livelihood while our own suffered. And then in one fell swoop, none of it mattered and I found myself without a job. Two years of sacrifice for someone else with absolutely nothing to show for it.

I applied to hundreds of jobs. Let me tell you what hundreds of rejections or ghostings feel like: Not good. I pride myself on my self-worth, but there is only so much “no” anyone can take without it making you start to believe that maybe you aren’t worth it after all.

I was reminded a few times that I had dreams of my own. And that this would be a great time to revive them. No job? No one else to answer to? Why not?

So that brings me to now. Fighting the good fight with Imposter Syndrome (a crazy opponent who does not fight fair), I put myself out there. I created a profile on Fiverr, selling my ghostwriting and editing services. That process was terrifying. Specifically that part where I had to put a price on my services. Imposter Syndrome says that price should be zero. Imposter Syndrome says there’s no point and that I wont get any clients. It’s hard not to listen.

I also spoke with my publisher and got the publishing rights for one of my novels back. So I could revamp it and publish it myself. It didn’t make any money while under their care. Imposter Syndrome says that it won’t make any money with me either.

But, at this point I have nothing to lose. Nothing except the chance to do something for myself. No matter what Imposter Syndrome says.